OK So after the retrieval I was in alot of pain for several days so I didn't update.
Afer retrieval they retrieved 18 eggs. 10 were mature and were ICSI'd and 5 fertilized. Out of 5 embryos only 3 made it to the day before transfer and on day of transfer we were left with only 2. BUT they were grade 1 and I have stioll got a lot of hope and faith... more on that shortly.
On our anniversary my mother in law told my DH that she has breast cancer and she had her surgery on the day after my transfer. We were all waiting anxiously to hear if she was ok and I spoke to her this mornign for a long time and she sounded great. Thank God. The got the lump and lymph node and we will know more in 2 weeks.
OK so on to the good stuff. The day of transfer was exciting and nerve racking... I kinda thought that we would go in and there would be none that survived... but to our shock there were 2.. sad we lost the third overnight... but happy there were 2. None to freeze and that really sucks but I have sooooo much hope and faith that these 2 are gonna make it for the long haul! So we went in and changed into our gowns and into the OR fairly quickly... sorry no pics this time.. and when we went in they did the u/s scans and tehn she left to go call the dr cause we were ready.. .my hubby says to me can you reach the kleenex she left a glop of goo on your side... ya she put the gown overtop of it... I CAN FEEL IT ITS COLD TO THE SKIN!!! LOL! So here he is wiping all the goo off my boobs and side.... LOL quite the scene. We looked up and noticed there was this big dome just above the table... and I said OMG do you think thats a camera he is like ya I think it is... so I start laughing thinking omg there is porn noone wants to see!!! LOL! cause its angled right down on my hoo hoo that is exposed for the world to see.... so my doctor comes in and he comes right over shakes our hands apologizes about the retrieval... I guess everyone knows I had a bad reaction and felt alot of pain eh!?? And gets right to it.. the embryologist comes in and tells us about the embryos and says you want both put in and we agree and I sign papers stating that and then the doc says ok get em ready.. .so he jacks me open sticks in the catheter and is showing my hubby the whole time what he is doing.. .I swear to you I can envision him and the doc goin out for a beer and hanging out togehter... he just loves my hubby... LOL! Its more like he was there interning than there to hold my hand at this poiint.... but whatever eases him... its a strange situation... LOL! He had to wiggle it in so I guess I am still a difficult person to get into but NO TERRIBLE TENACULUM!!! WOOHOO!! Then he loads in the embryos and I cannot beleive it but there they are on the screen and then he asks hubby does that look like a good spot... UMM HELLO??? LIKE HE WOUDL KNOW!? HA HA Hubby says ya and woosh they are released an you see these tiny little specs float.. i think my hubby really liked it he later told me it was so neat to see that... last time my sister came with me not him so this was a first for him! She confirmed that the catheter was clear and indeed 2 are inside and ta da you are done! Now I literally drank 2L of water so I have a very full bladder and she says ok you can go pee when you are ready. I WAS LIKE WHAT!?? I ain't peein... even hubby was shocked I didnt have to go. I waiteed as long as I could... about an hour.. then I had to go.. .and go and go and go.. I swear to you 2 days later I am still peeing out all the water! I came home and rested.. since I had a really bad cold it wasn't difficult. Don't worry I have taken NOTHING for it! Just vitamin C!
It is a strange thought to know that inside you have 2 embryos hopefully not only growing but hatching and implanting! The first day was odd.. the second was just focusing on resting and I finally went out last night with the girls! Nice to just get out!! Today I have cleaned a little bit and rested still enjoying my vacation. I am talking to them alot and I finally came up with names for them..... OK so I do beleive that one is a boy and one is a girl however in light of everything I have named them Hope and Faith. They are all my hope and faith. What is really odd is that these 2 precious embryos are the very best of the both of us! They have in them our strength and our courage and everything inbetween! I talk to them constantly I tell them how much their mommy loves them and how incredible it is to love something so tiny so completely! I wish I could explain the feelings I have.... I am very emotional right now and I know alot of it is because of the hormones and the progesterone but alot of it is just soo much hope and faith... inside. PUN INTENDED!! ;) I think I am going to go crazy with my husband however.. he has decided that I can have ZERO STRESS and not be upset by anything... and our cat needs to be remvoed from the home because even though I wont be changing the litter he feels the microscopic fumes can infect the kids... I swear to you he actually said that! He has also lectured me about soft cheeses --no more goat cheese and no more steak done medium..... its uncooked! IF HE IS THIS PARANOID NOW IMAGINE once I am actually pregnant... and dare I say... once the baby is born!? Frightening thought isn't it? He asked me to take next week off as well but in light of what is going on at the office right now I am not taking more time off I have been off 2 weeks that is enough. I will watch my stress levels and I will take my BP at home and behave. So far at lunches I have been eating salads I make at home with apples and grapes and cheese... Not to worry it was mozzarellla... I heard that was ok!! and the dressing was ranch. I am trying so hard to eat better and not sit and eat crap. I also read and was told my good friend and fellow 2ww'r KAT that warm foods/hot foods are what you need to focus on cold foods are bad! So I am having hot dinners... I will do whatever it takes to make this take! I am even back to wearing my fertility necklace! I haven't worn that since I was pregnant with my girls. I have been thinking about taking the cross off urns and wearing it again.. I need all the help I can get. What a different world we live in.
Have you seen this video? OK I cried through it but its a great video!!!! Even though I am not an American I thought I would share.. beautiful song written by Bono and played by Dave Stewart... you may remember him from Eurythmics....
I would also like to take this opportunity to tell you about my sister. She is at a new clinic.. my clinic and she is seeing a specialist who gave both good news and bad news to her about her situation with recurrent miscarriages. She also told her that basically everything and anything that the old placae told her was wrong. They should have done other test been more aggressive retested etc... She went in for an u/s afterwards they told her nothing was left after the miscarriage today she discovered that was not the case... still retaining some... and she has to take those nasty pills to expel it. I am disgusted by that place and if I wasn't trying to reduce the stress in my life I would turn around and go to that place and just rip into them. Their lack of care and attention to her is unacceptable! Please keep her in your thoughts and prayers... She means soo much to me and all I want is everything for her. FOR US! Here's hoping she can finally get answers and her dreams will come true!