I know its been awhile.. a long while.. I really needed to take some time to deal with all that was going on and try to accept... key word TRY... that I cannot have any babies. The thought that I have to live this life childless takes my breath away since it is the only thing I ever wanted or needed out of this life. In the midst of all this personal drama we learned that my mother in law has breast cancer. This really shook both of us to the very core... we just didn't ever think we would have to deal with anything like this in our family. I have really done my best to be there for her every step of the way. She needed one person who wouldn't cry or look at her with that aww poor you face... (those of us who have lost babies know that face all to well!) So instead I just call her almost every day just to see how she is and see how things are, is there anything I can do to help you? She is a brave lady and I really have never seen her break down or have a why me moment... not that she hasn't in private but she is a trooper. Once she started the chemo her hair fell out so fast.. so we bought her a wig. Anything she needs or wants we will make sure we can provide. What I decided was that this year I would host Christmas have them over sleep over on Christmas eve and spend Christmas day with us... I would cook... yes me cook funny I realize... and she could just sit back and relax. Noone knew how she would be feeling at that point but I will tell you that it was a very exciting and fun filled Christmas. The dinner was fabulous and we all stayed in our PJs all day long and had a great family Christmas. I didn't get to see my own family on Christmas day but it was ok... this year was about his family. It was a great Christmas. I wish each and every one of you a Happy New Year and I hope you had a Merry Christmas.