Tuesday, July 08, 2008

The Terrible Tenaculum!!


There is a new instrument of torture in the fertility world. Beware of the tenaculum! This is used to grab the cervix and pull it open or get it to do things when your body is misbehaving and not cooperating with the doctor!
I went in for my Saline Sono today and again this terrible tenaculum had to be used. I arrived and whilst waiting ran into another girl I had seen previously for some reason we both remembered each other. Made me feel much better. I started to calm down. I went into the room changed into my paper sheet.... LOL ran into the room bare-assed... the ultrasound girl was gentle.. soo gentle it was unbelievable Mr Wand was gentle! She took some internal pictures and I smiled and made jokes when she went out to call Dr G to come in she came back and gave me my cell phone that my hubby had dropped off cause I forgot it in the car. Then when Dr G came in he said are you nervous? I laughed and said umm yes i see those instruments of torture over there ha ha! He began simply just inserting the speculuum.. something all women have had.. just like a pap. They jack you open. then he says ok I am going to insert the catheter then he says uhoh its not going in... I am going to try again so he pokes it again and pulls and pushes on the speculum.. (what I wouldnt give to clamp his penis and pull and push it!!!) and says ok now I am sorry I need to use the clamp. Now ladies.... IS THIS A CLAMP!? Clamp with pincers on it!? I braced myself for the pain. I thought omg ok deep breaths and think happy thoughts! He pinches it and pulls it all around and then says ok lets start again! So he clamps it again. What it feels like for me is a huge cramp that starts at the tip of the vajayjay and goes deeper into your back and uterus. I just thought happy thoughts and did deep breathing just like on the wiifit breathe in and breathe out through your nose. I held onto the cell phone with the picture of my niece and just stayed perfectly still he filled the balloon and then they inserted Mr Wand and took a bunch of pics and then just as quickly as it was started it was over. Removed the catheter and then felt all the liquid gush out I lay there a couple minutes then ran bare assed to the change room and I was done! Well next step is done so I can check that off my list! Now all hubby has to do is bring in his sample and have our counselling session and we are good to start! WOOHOO!!

95 comments:

Kat said...

OUCH!!! Sorry it was so painful! But it's good it's done and over and like you said you are ready to move on :-)

Niki said...

OMG ... that sounds absolutely horrible! I'm so happy that I havne't met the tenaculum and hope to never meet it in the future! You made it through it and are now on your way!! Yay!!

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