Monday, February 05, 2007
Here We Grow Again?
I know its been a long LONG time since I posted on here but its taken me a long time to get over losing my daughters and learning to grieve and be able to move on. We decided to start trying again late last year and the clinic we were at upset me with the runaround and non personal attention... after all I had been through I expected an explanation as to why they were refusing to start my cycle... not just being hung up on rudely and being told to get over it. SO I contacted my family doctor and he referred me to the same clinic my sister has been at. I went and met the doctor and was truly amazed at how personable he was he honestly felt for me and was regretful for all that happened. He asked me to do one investigative cycle and then we could start on the meds again. He decided that he was going to put me on Puregon and since I had leftover Gonal-f from when I was TTC at the end of the year when they cancelled me. He said not a problem and so in January we began again. It was really emotional and hard to get back on the injections. I totally forgot about how emotional and crazy things can get. My body responded so well to the medication I had 12 TWELVE mature eggs. They called me into the office and told me I had 3 choices. I could cancel my cycle, I could switch to IVF or I could have a procedure done where they would remove some of the eggs so as to reduce the chances of multiples. I wanted to switch to IVF but the extra 3k was alot of money so I opted for the painful procedure instead. I was nervous and very frightened but instead I welcomed it with open arms. It could be the answer to my prayers.... I went in a few days before the procedure and Iwas told that the procedure wasn't neccessary anymore... only 6 eggs were at the point where they might be fertilized so they were willing to go ahead with the IUI. I got the HCG injection and the next day I did the IUI. The incredible thing was that his count was 50 million and motility was 93% it was great. The IUI was quick and painless and I went by myself. I wanted to cry after... I felt so alone and so emotional I wanted to be sick. It was hard to realize the last time I did that these 2 precious little girls came into my life. Now a year later I am back at the same point all over again. The next day we did it all over again except this time my sister and my niece came with me. What an experience... a 2 year old and my sister in the room when I am being inseminated. How funny is that!? Of course Carmela was a little freaked out at first but after it was done and the nurse stood there and chatted with us for 10 minutes she loosened up and decided to go to the end of the bed to take a peek at auntie's hoo hoo! She is so ardorable... anyone else would have got a smack. I started the progesterone suppositories that night and then the waiting began. I guess cause I have 6 eggs potentially popping that explains the horriblt pains I had all weekend. I just keep thinking to myself this is all a good sign. Its for a reason. This time will be different. I broke out in hives on Saturday so I have now decreased the progesterone to once a day to see if they go away. I mean I know I am not allergic to peanuts so what could it be? In the middle of all this we got home on Wednesday night to discover that our ceiling in the living room was leaking and had to pull down the ceiling to relieve the pressure... after 3 days of drippin it finally stopped leaking and the insurance copany sent someone out today to look at it and provide an estimate. Its been an exciting couple of days and it will be an even longer 2 week wait. February 16th is my test date.... soI am really keeping my fingers crossed that this is it. I hate to put all my eggs in one basket but after this month its all out of pocket.... Looking forward to updating you once I have test results.