Update…. In my life numbers have always meant something to me… the 15th, the 12th are our numbers… both our birthdays are on the 15th of the month and the 12th… well we got married on the 12th and we have always loved that number so when we finally got the call that we had a match for the kidneys and the potential dates were the 12th, 19th or 26th we just knew it would be the 12th….. we took it as a posisigne for us. It is our number after all! We got the call and the surgery wa scheduled for the 12th and we were so excited and also a little scared… my husband would have the surgery early in the morning if the 12th and my surgery would be ,ate that night… I would be admitted the day before so they could start me on iv and run tests etc but he would come in the next morning. Now to figure out who would take him to the hospital… he decided one day while sitting in the car to reach out to my sister and ask her to take him after he had thought about asking a coworker/friend to take him… my only concern was that if I wasn’t allowed to be there with him that someone would be there with him and would stay with him until he went in… so his choice of asking my sister was the best decision he could have ever made! I know of anyone in our lives that she is probably the ONE AND ONLY person we could count on. She would also have him in great spirits and laughing to keep his mind off everything as well.
We went for pre-op on the 10th together but separate and had our very first COVID tests and met our anesthesiologists… I saw a different one than he did but he came with me in mine. I don’t know how to explain how surreal this whole situation is… I am getting a new kidney from a stranger and my husband is donating his kidney to a stranger… my emotions are raw and the whole situation has been odd.. the second I sat in the room with the man we just bonded… I know a little about surgery and I know that surgeons are amazing but the anesthesiologist literally holds your life in his hands so I felt instantly comfortable with him. Yes he is good looking but his personality was just wonderful even my husband liked him.. he joked with me and was the calming influence I needed.. he really made me feel like he understood me and my concerns. More on that later…
The day I went into the hospital and was admitted I was a ball of nerves.. first of all preop sent us to the wrong place so we were late checking in because they sent me to level 0… even highlighted it on the map how to get there… and where we actually needed to be was the other side of the hospital on level 7! Eventually we made our way there and it was a locked unit… I felt so uncomfortable and like I didn’t belong but we went in together and handed in our paperwork and they lead me to a room down the hall… the room I was in I was sharing with a man… I sat on the bed and hubby sat on the chair and we put my stuff away in the closet.
Then they came in and said make yourself comfortable and they would bring dinner in eventually but that would be the last food until after surgery… odd I thought that would mean no food for over 24 hours but I also get really sick from the aesthetic so maybe that’s why… we were in the room maybe 5 minutes and the man beside me started moaning in pain and then his call to prayer went off… to say I felt uncl Would be the understatement of the year… I have to share a bathroom with this man and they want me to “empty” with him right beside the bathroom… 🤦♀️. The call to prayer was about 5 minutes long and he slept through it mostly moaning in pain… as a Christian I wasn’t bothered by it too much I can respect the need for prayer but I found it strange he didn’t turn it off… I didn’t complain because if it helps him feel better than it’s worth it… the calls he took at 3am however I was less impressed… I don’t think he knew the time of day but people are calling his cell at that time too! 🤦♀️
my husband lasted about an hour sitting there with me… he had to go home and finish packing and get himself ready to come back the next morning for his surgery so he apologized to me and said he had to go… I get it it’s hard being there but when he went to say goodbye to me and hugged me we both started crying tears just streamed down my face it was so hard saying goodbye to him… I had bought him a little something and told him to open it up later. This man is literally saving my life and sacrificing a piece of himself to do it he will always be my hero.
He took the satchel with the gift inside and left then when he got to the car he texted me and said I was wrong the Covid test was not the hardest part… leaving you was. Funny enough I felt the same way I hated he left me there alone I sat there in my bed alone and cried I was so alone and terrified and felt like I was in the wrong place… the nurse came in and spoke with me and said dinner would come soon and told me what would happened tomorrow.. they said I didn’t need to get into a gown that night and I could sleep in my trackpants and tshirt so I was grateful for that at least… dinner came and it was meatloaf and I wasn’t really hungry I just wanted to lay down and cry… I didn’t know if I was supposed to remove my mask or not so I never took it off.. I slept with it on… the next morning I was woken up with blood work and vitals and then breakfast came…I didn’t touch it because I wasn’t sure if it was a mistake! The nurse came in to check on me and I asked and they said yes I could eat it but nothing else that day. I ate some cereal and a piece of cheese but I wasn’t hungry.. my husband was downstairs at the hospital with my sister and they were getting him ready for surgery… I had hoped to FaceTime with him but it was so fast he arrived they took him back he got into his gown and then he had the iv put in and he was gone… those 4 hours were the longest 4 hours of my life… I was waiting anxiously to hear how he was then finally I heard from my family who got the call that he was out and in recovery and doing ok… he was just sick from the anesthesia but everything went well! I was hoping to talk to him before my surgery but at least I heard he was ok. Eventually I got my IV and changed into my gown and was ready. A lady appeared at my door on a knee scooter and I realized she was the chaplain! I had wanted a blessing from my minister but he was on vacation and I didn’t get one nor did I tell my church about the surgery so I was so glad she came to visiting me. We had a lovely visit she prayed with me and gave me a lovely prayer to read… it helped calm me down a little my nerves were going crazy.. the call to prayer from my neighbor kept going off all day and he screamed and moaned in pain… he woke up in the middle of the night talking and making cell phone calls art 3am he was quite out of it and I needed peace so much. Eventually after what felt like being an hour after they originslky said they would be coming to get me they came to get me with the gurney and I laid in it thinking ok here we go… I can do this… I texted my husband saying goodbye and I love you see you on the other side…get some rest.. and off we went I was shaking and they gave me some warm blankets and I watched as the ceiling tiles flashed above me down the long corridors to the elevators… and then her cell phone rang.. Omg 😱 this is it it’s cancelled something is wrong with the kidney all the negative thoughts flooded my head… I only heard one side of the conversation but it was clear something was wrong..she came over stood beside me and said I’m really sorry to tell you this but you have been bumped and emergency just came in so we need to take you back… can a kidney stay on ice for long? It came from another province so what does that mean!? Ok back we went I watched all the ceiling tiles flash by in reverse and then we got back to my room I hopped down and went back to the bed… I texted my hubby to tell him and to my surprise he responded! I also let my sister know because this would mean a delay… and I waited I waited about 30 mins and they came back… this time however my nerves were shot… I was sitting in the bed second guessing the surgery I don’t want it I thought I changed my mind it’s a sign it’s not going to work… catastrophic thinking… now when we got to the elevator I was shaking so badly I was t sure if it was I was cold or having a seizure… they pushed me in front of the OR doors and parked me and out of the OR came my anaesthesiologist! The one I had bonded with… he was on call and he was going to be mine…. The second I saw him I burst into tears saying omg thank God it’s you! I’m not usually a weepy person but I literally fell apart he started petting me and saying it’s ok you are going to be ok… let me get you some heated blankets you are shaking…. he was so calming and then he said just a few more minutes and I am going to take you on a magical mystery tour… I’m going to take care of you don’t worry. I’m not sure why but it helped… he held my hand and said ok are you ready? I said I was and they wheeled me in… I have been in ORs before but this one was huge! And there in the corner of the room was my surgeon and another doctor working on the kidney… they were sewing it I was amazed… I like medical stuff so that also seemed to calm me down he waved to me and said here it is! Then I had to hop over from one gurney to another and of course the gown didn’t have snaps so that was a whole thing but once I got on the gurney it was a well oiled machine… magical mystery tour time.. he put in another IV and strapped on the blood pressure cuff and heart monitor and he said o I’m making a mess you are bleeding down your arm..I laughed and said no worries you do whatever you need I’m in your hands.. it didn’t take long to be all ready and then the surgeon and the doctor came and spoke to me for a few seconds and then they took off my mask and out on the other one… been there done that before… I know count to 10 and youre out but in my mind for some reason I didn’t want to count… I started praying out loud… and he said are you praying for us? Ok you do what you need to do sweetheart next thing is you will be awake and it’s all over and that’s the last thing I remember… the next memory I have is being bent over getting an X-ray and vomiting everywhere and them saying o no she is vomiting again… I didn’t even open my eyes I just remember that..then an ultrasound and again she is vomiting didn’t open my eyes… then I woke up in a hospital room the next morning…. Of course vomiting… and shaking and the nurse was there helping me. They said I’m sorry we need to flip you and give you a suppository you just keep vomiting… I couldn’t move and was grateful if that would help… I had a catheter in and a picc line and heart monitor and blood pressure cuff I had so many wires it hurt to move,,, I fell back asleep for a while and when I woke up I didn’t know where I was…. I was suddenly aware I was in a different room than the one I left and I had no idea where my phone was or anything and I was told I was on bed rest and couldn’t really move… the strangest thing was I knew I had major surgery but I really didn’t have any pain.. more of a dull ache in my side…. The nurse came and offered me something for pain and I declined im ok I don’t need anything… are you sure.. yes I’m sure. I remember the last surgery I had they gave me morphine and I was talking to people who weren’t there and I wanted off it the next day so I think a big part of me was thinking no I don’t want that again… but also my body has been through trauma before so it was manageable. But day 1 was rough from the nausea and vomiting..
When they came in later in the morning to change my urine bag and give me infusions I asked if they knew wheee my online was… and she passed it to me. I finally was able to reach out to my husband and see him through FaceTime… he was really sick vomiting and he had not gotten out of bed yet. He was really happy they were going to remove his catheter and he could put on underwear but he also had not stepped foot out of the bed yet… no one had come to see him or help him which I found odd.. he had to call a nurse to help with the vomit and that was hard..one took a look at him and said she would send someone in to help him… and it took a while.. poor guy. Meanwhile I was about to be released from bed rest and I had to walk to scale if I could… physiotherapist came in and showed me how to get in and out of bed and asked if I felt I could walk… sure I said… let’s do it! I got out of bed grabbed my pole with all my wires and started the long slow trek down the corridor to the scale… they had warned me that they push iv fluids through 24 hours a day so I will retain water and I will swell… I could gain as much as 20kg during my stay but the kidneys will do their job and clear it… the walk back I picked up the pace a bit and she was surprised.. here let me get you back into bed she said… I said actually can I just sit in the chair by the window instead? I don’t want to be in bed… I thought let’s make an effort so they send me home sooner… 😂. So I sat in my chair and looked out the window and they would come and take blood and hook up infusions and change the urine bag I was peeing sooo much I was keeping them hopping… all good signs. Then my husband texted me I just got my discharge papers they are sending me home… WHAT!? I guess they need the bed they came I said I was discharged your sister is coming to get me… now I know that there is no way they should be sending him home… and home to an empty house on top… but my husband isn’t going to question it… so I said on your way out stop by my room… he was in a completely different building than I was but I really just wanted to see him so badly. I was also very lonely…. It was strange.. a few hours later there at my door was my husband in a wheelchair being pushed my sister…. He looked better than I expected I just wanted to hug him so badly but neither of us was going to do that he was protecting me from any disease because i had no immunity.. it was a rather short visit but I was grateful… we took a picture of us together but apart and then he was in his way home… I worried he would be in his own at home but I know he is stubborn and would be ok.
Shortly after my hubby left the surgeon came to check on me… he said ummm where is your hubby I went to visit him and he was gone… did he have a prior obligation? Umm no they kicked him out saying he was cleared to go home… the look on his face told me that he certainly didn’t agree he said no he should not have gone home especially how sick he was this morning…. I agreed but it’s too late he is there now… he said both our surgeries went well and I’m making lots of urine which was a fantastic sign!
The fist day I sat on that chair for over 12 hours… I wanted to prove to myself I could do it… I had dedicated nurse that was just so impressed I could do that the next day and with no meds for pain… but eventually I did get back in bed… that night and tried to sleep.. I am a side sleeper and I couldn’t sleep on either side between the wires and incision it was a rough night… then the other patients would just scream in pain all night… they would curse out the nurses because they wouldn’t give them anything for the pain and they were nasty… I’m in a renal transplant unit so I worried is this going to be me? Maybe day 1 was just a fluke..?
I would try to FaceTime with hubby at night but he was in pain and wasn’t taking the dilaudin they sent him home with so he wss miserable and didn’t really want to chat and my pic line coming out of my neck bothered him… so really it was lonely… there were ourptbresks of Covid and VRE in the unit so no visors were allowed anyways.. I would just put on Netflix on my iPad and watch some shows.. eventually I fell asleep but rhe nurses were coming and going all night as well so I would t say it was restful sleep…
Day 2 I was woken up by a new nurse at 6am.. the picc line was great they would push the fluids from there and take blood from there….the picc line was my biggest concern but it was honestly a Godesnd!
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