Mothers Day

Today is mothers day. Its not just a day to celebrate my mom and hubby's mom but its a sad day for me. Its a day that should be filled with smiles and laughter watching my girls learn to crawl and do all htose things little babies do. I remember last year on mother's day I was happy I loved knowing that I would be a mother soon and that next year I would have 2 little gifts that would help me celebrate this day. Instead I woke up this morning thinking how things could be different, things should be different!!! Here we are almost a year later and I am still without a child, without babies to hold, I am still wishing and hoping that our turn will come but sadly.... all I get is dissapointment and tears. I hope that next year's mothers day we have something to celebrate. I hope that we have what we yearn for...what we desire.... Its not that I want to replace my little girls because nothing and noone ever can or will... its just that they caused me to feel love, a love I never knew I was missing.. I feel like I had something taken away before I ever got to really enjoy or appreciate it. I need it, I desire it... I long for it!!!!!!!! So this morhters day for me is bittersweet.