Monday, June 12, 2006

Pictures






15 weeks 16 weeks 17 weeks



some albeit blurry pictures from the last couple weeks.

No big changes yet aside from visually. I am definitely feeling the babies grow... and I am finally starting to put on some weight. WOW Bet you never thought I would say that!!

I will update again later this week. The big dr appt is Friday and my big 30 Birthday is Thursday.

Sunday, June 04, 2006

MO MO Twins

Well I am sorry I haven't updated in a while but alot has been going on..... It is official everyone knows now and I am starting to show. Which is funny because I am 4 months and should already look huge! I am having a problem with my weight (back to prepregnancy weight) due to the momo's making me very sick but thanks to diclectin I am on the road to weight gain again.

On Monday May 29th we had our first appointment with Dr Smith at the High Risk Clinic and he was great. I really hope that he delivers my little bundles because he had a great disposition and he even rushed me in to have an ultrasound right then and there during our appointment. He was pretty sure they were in the same sac but wanted Dr. Ryan at Mt. Sinai to see me in case of any issues... We got the appt at Mt. Sinai for Wednesday May 31st and it was the appt from HELL. We got there and waited and waited and waited... finally we got in and saw a nurse and had a consultation discussing best case and worst case scenarios.... OK I can handle this. Roy and I talked and waited and waited some more then we got into an u/s room and waited some more... by now it was almost 11am... and our appt was for 9am. HMM well its worth it we kept thinking. Finally the nurse came in and did the scan it was our worst case scenario... they appear to be in the same sac but the Dr will have to come and do the scan himself to confirm. SO AGAIN we waited... but this time we waited with a picture on the screen of the umbilical cords entangled... Roy had this look on his face that I pray I never see again... he was so upset and devestated and I felt like I had to be strong even though I was thinking the same thing he was.... The worst case scenario is that one or both of the babies will die due to the cords being entangled and compressed. There are "options" abort one baby giving the other a better chance or end the pregnancy altogether.... Not options in our minds. The other problem is that the oxygen could be cut off to their brains and they could have cerebral palsy... can you just imagine raising one or two sick kids.. they try to make you feel bad but it didn't work. We were not even considering it. It's in God's hands. The Dr came in after lunch (around 1) and did a scan and the little hyperactive kids weren't making it easy for him. O no they kept changing positions which frustrated him .... finally he said OK go out in the waiting room and YOU GUESSED IT.... WAIT until the other machine is available and then we can see better there... so we went out and waited for another 2 hours.... then we had the scan on this machine... mercedes machine they call it... clearer picture... the sonographer started the scan then called in the dr and then I wear to you I thought they were going to start selling popcorn.... there were 5 people (not including Roy and I) watching this scan... apparently a medical puzzle.... lucky me. By now I am tired and hungryt and thirsty and I just want to leave!!! FInally they determine there is absolutely no membrane between them and yes the cords are already quite tangled up.... BUT there is nothing we can do...... BUT...............WAIT! So we went into the first room where we started and waited some more... but this time they brought us an article on momo pregnancies. The first thing I read was the fatality rateis 30-70% Well I wanted to just scream but I stayed and calmly waited for the nurse to come back in say that they didn't think things looked very good but IF we make it to 26 weeks then we will see them here in Toronto again. In the meantime Dr Smith can continute to see me every other week and do a scan to see how things are progressing.... for those of you reading this that means to see if one or both babies are still "alive". So day to day I walk around with these babies inside me not knowing if today is the day that one or both will perish. A very morbid thought I realize...but nonetheless the truth. I hope we can make it tilll 26 weeks and then they will hospitalize me until they are born. Daily monitoring will have give them the best chance. In the meantime my heart aches and my heart breaks and the tears have finally stopped flowing. We really just have to take it one day at a time.
The problem is that monoamniotic twins are a very risky pregnancy and we just have to keep these precious miracles in our thoughts and prayers.

Our angels Grace Elizabeth & Anna Marie

Our angels Grace Elizabeth & Anna Marie
Always on our minds, Forever in our hearts (June 28, 2006)